I Want A Husband: Style Imitation of Judy Brady's "I Want a Wife"

            I want a husband. Life would be much easier and less stressful if I were to acquire a husband. There are a great many number of reasons to have one, here are a few. 

            I want a husband who will bring home the money. I want a husband who has a very high-paying job, but can have flexible hours to spend time at home as well. I don't want to have to be forced into needing a job. But I want a husband that can provide extravagantly for us, and can buy me whatever I desire. I want a husband who buys me flowers, and surprises me with vacations to beaches far away. I want a husband who gets me jewelry on our anniversaries, and who takes me for shopping trips. 

            I want all the Barbecuing done by the husband. I also want a husband who can cook dinner regularly for us, so that the responsibility of dinner can be shared. He must be a good and willing cook, and he must always clean up after himself in the kitchen. When we are having a party, I want a husband that will entertain and feed the guests with his grilling, as well as interact well with the kids. In order for us to function regularly, my husband must be well practiced in house and yard work. The lawn mowing, pool maintenance, and occasional digging must be done. I want a husband who will clean the gutters, change the light bulbs, fix the electrical problem, and trim and cut back the trees and bushes. He must be able to paint the walls, hang the shelves, and assemble the furniture we bought unassembled. I want my husband to be handy in all situations, and to be good in all situations. 

            Our cars must be maintained. I want a husband who will want to clean, detail, wax and dry our cars. My husband should also know how fix some problems with our cars, and if he doesn't, my husband should take the car to the shop to have it fixed. I want my husband to be sensitive to what I want to do, and attentive towards my needs and wants. I want him to listen to what I have to say, and to care about it. I want a husband that protects me from any physical danger, and that stands up for me in all situations. My husband should make me feel safe, and should be able to make me laugh. With all this taken care of, now all I have to do is relax.